The Psychology of Response


When you are confronted with someone on a certain issue, how would you react? Research shows that there are three ways a person would respond on a situation like this.

More often, these three ways are associated to a specific type of person based on the responses. It is called the Psychology of Response.

(Similar posts: discomfort and anxiety, the art of naivety, the duality of life, the power of no options)

Study shows that there are three ways of responding during a confrontational issue with someone - either your friend, foe, boss, colleague, etc. These are the following:

You get discouraged

In the course of the conversation, chances are hurting words may come out from both of you. These words can break a nerve and can cause spark to a heated argument.

This will definitely hurt you. But when you feel discouraged, hurt, depressed, sad, lonely (and all the other pity-adjectives out there), it is said that you are an average person. "Nobody's perfect, what the fuss?", you might ask.

Yes, but average in a manner that is unconscious and inexperienced of handling one's emotions. This is the first stage of enlightenment.

You answer defensively

Let's take in both scenarios. You answer defensively whether you are right or not with your responses. You make a firm stand on your side and cover up your ass in order not to put the blame on you. This is right, sometimes. But doing this all the time is not good.

Imagine how this could break a relationship, cause misunderstandings and indifference. People of this type are intelligent.

They rationalize the issue, speak out loud and eliminate obstacles to meet halfway. However, the downside is that, the more you say something, the more it complicates the issue. This is true to some issues that need to be accepted and not to debated. This is the second stage of enlightenment.

You ignore and move on

Some people tend to listen more to the speaker and answer in a straightforward manner regardless of the response - be it constructive or destructive.

These type of people don't get affected with the words used to blow off their temper. These type of people are the smart ones. They think that more speaking and less listening is waste since you're missing the point what the speaker wants to imply.

They often neglect the unimportant, useless words spoken and focus more on the important issues being raised. Their responses are based on what they comprehensively understood on the speaker's statements. This is the 3rd stage of enlightenment.

I often belong to the intelligent and smart group of people. Though sometimes I tend to be stupid - hanging on to a certain issue and feeling emotional, I strive to be on the 3rd stage and I do this frequently.

The only setback on the third stage is that you may be misinterpreted as being arrogant and indifferent. This could be a losing fight for you on the corporate world. Thus, it is not always good to be on the last stage but balancing the 2nd and 3rd stage would be the best approach of all.
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